The Vulvar Vernacular: Dilemmas Experienced and Strategies Recommended by Women with Chronic Genital Pain

This manuscript uses Goldsmith's (2004) normative model of social support to explore conversations women have with a romantic partner about vulvodynia. Twenty-six women with vulvodynia participated in semi-structured interviews in which they described conversational goals, discussed challenges, and offered advice to others managing vulvodynia. As this study was concerned with interactions with romantic partners both present and past, women with vulvodynia, not their partners, were the targets of recruiting efforts. Two key communicative dilemmas emerged from the data analysis: (a) I need to talk to you, but I can't, and (b) I want to be honest, but not too honest. These dilemmas represent ambiguity about the causes and duration of pain and the implications that being unable to have pain-free intercourse has for their relationships and identities as women. Three strategies, communicative practices for managing dilemmas, also emerged: (a) reframe the illness, (b) refocus the relationship, and (c) redefine intimacy. The theoretical and practical implications of this research are socially situated within timely conversation about women, their bodies, and their roles.